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2.03

November 7th, 2011, 11:00 pm

Average Rating: 5.00

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Author's Comments

Jadiekins, November 2nd, 2011, 12:00 am

Cobblestooooooones.

Advertisement, December 13th, 2017, 12:51 pm

Jadiekins, December 28th, 2011, 11:59 am

Re: crits Since everyone's been bringing it up about the first chapter, which is definitely not a bad thing, don't worry. I will be going back and padding Pyrena's leaving a bit more to make it more plausable. I was trying to work within certain page constraints, and I also just wanted to hurry the chapter along and get to other parts. I'm going to be going back and adding stuff in some next year, or at least have it ready if I ever get the comic to graphic novel length, somewhere around 150-200 pages.

User's Comments

eclaire291, November 8th, 2011, 2:14 pm

Critique And they're about to start their adventure! Woohoo! I always look forward to a new LN comic. It's a unique and well-drawn cartoon. I love the idea of lost nations and treasure hunting.

I hope you would not mind me offering a critique of the comic so far:

It's well-drawn and the first few panels really helped me feel the instant bond between Rena and her adoptive family.

However, I wish there were more details/background info. I still have no idea what halvers are or why they're hated. I wish that had been hinted on during the bar scene. Why was Rena apprehensive upon hearing Vera's last name? What is a Leviathan hunter? Why are Vera's moods so up and down, going from one extreme to the next without warning in the matter of one or two panels? If Rena cannot read then how could she magically decipher the fragmented document presented to her by Vera? What is the history of Nova, why is it so significant to Vera?

Maybe I just haven't read enough comics to truly appreciate them, but it seems to me that too much information is being held back to build up suspense. However, because of this, I'm not forming a connection with the characters or events because of this and feel the need for more characterization. Only so much information can be hidden from a reader. The whole aspect of a lost colonization is fine. That adds some suspense. But the characters are going to go flat if they don't gain some more definition. An action-filled plot will only carry a story so far.

Good luck and I look forward to another update by you!

constant_boredom, December 26th, 2011, 2:16 am

I agree with eclaire291's critique.

I did connect with the characters though. Especially Vera and, even though he wasn't exactly in the spotlight, Harris. I love Vera's expressions and personality as a whole, and I have a thing for the stoic tough guy that turns into a big softie with those he's close to <3 ;D

But I really want to know where all this prejudice towards Halvers stems from and how an illiterate girl was able to suddenly decipher that message. I find all that very confusing. Like, was there a previous war/conflict involving Halvers? Is that a dead language seemingly lost since the disappearance of Nova or just the native tongue of an unfamiliar country/people?

All in all though, I'm really interested in this story, and I can't wait to see how it progresses! I have high hopes for this <3

mockingbirdflyaway, December 27th, 2011, 11:24 pm

Aye aye, I third the above two comments, particularly Eclaire's.

Vera seems almost to have some sort of mood disorder, but that does make her more interesting. :P

mockingbirdflyaway, December 27th, 2011, 11:27 pm

Though the "SUDDENLY LEAVING HOME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE" was done rather quickly. If this was a novel, I'd say go back and cram in more character/relationship building with the dad and brother so that she has a bit more of an anchor and you have handy references and noodle incidents for later, but since it's a comic, and I know how much of a b**** it is to redraw pages, I'll just say "a lesson to take for later"

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